One in three: Why is no one talking?
Issue date: 5/4/06 Section: Opinion
For anyone who attended Judy Shepard's talk last week, Matthew Shepard's killers learned to hate- somewhere at school or home or work, they learned that it was okay to hate. Well, there is a crazy statistic that I have only heard two organization's use so far: The Student Leadership Training Program (www.sltp.info) last week at a conference called the InterLead which tackled the subject of violence against women, and Deana's Fund (www.deanasfund.org) which develops educational theater to raise awareness about violence against women. The statistic says "One in three high school and college students experience violence in an intimate relationship (Women's Health Issues, 1994)." ONE IN THREE!? Why are only two organizations talking about this statistic?
I agree, Maria, that boys can be victims as well. And it may be even more difficult for them because there is more pressure to "be a man" and to talk about this violence would be to show weakness. But I am blown away by the one in three statistic, and I chose to focus my bulletin board on women as the real victim. These boys have to be learning that this is okay from somewhere. I do not blame women, I do not blame men, I do not blame music- I blame all of us combined because we are all letting this happen and not saying anything. No one wants to take responsibility, and it is exactly that attitude, which seems so popular, that is making this objectifying of women something we should just let slide. You say you'd "rather be treated like one of the guys than like a girl who you need to censor yourself around." Well I am proud say, that people should be careful what they say around me, because I won't tolerate the objectification of women. If we don't stand up for ourselves, no one will. They shouldn't be careful in fear that I will judge them or jump down their throats, because I won't. They should be cautious because I'll tell them all of the reasons why saying that is hurting our women. There were an estimated 4,000 incidents of rape or other types of sexual assault in public schools across the country during the 1996-1997 school year (U.S. Department of Education). Four women are murdered by their male partners each day (FBI, 1997). About 3 percent of college women experience a completed and/or attempted rape during a typical college year (National College Women Sexual Victimization Study, 2001). Do I need to go on? These statistics are outrageous, and these men are learning it somewhere.
I agree, Maria, that boys can be victims as well. And it may be even more difficult for them because there is more pressure to "be a man" and to talk about this violence would be to show weakness. But I am blown away by the one in three statistic, and I chose to focus my bulletin board on women as the real victim. These boys have to be learning that this is okay from somewhere. I do not blame women, I do not blame men, I do not blame music- I blame all of us combined because we are all letting this happen and not saying anything. No one wants to take responsibility, and it is exactly that attitude, which seems so popular, that is making this objectifying of women something we should just let slide. You say you'd "rather be treated like one of the guys than like a girl who you need to censor yourself around." Well I am proud say, that people should be careful what they say around me, because I won't tolerate the objectification of women. If we don't stand up for ourselves, no one will. They shouldn't be careful in fear that I will judge them or jump down their throats, because I won't. They should be cautious because I'll tell them all of the reasons why saying that is hurting our women. There were an estimated 4,000 incidents of rape or other types of sexual assault in public schools across the country during the 1996-1997 school year (U.S. Department of Education). Four women are murdered by their male partners each day (FBI, 1997). About 3 percent of college women experience a completed and/or attempted rape during a typical college year (National College Women Sexual Victimization Study, 2001). Do I need to go on? These statistics are outrageous, and these men are learning it somewhere.
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